With the finished talk of awful happenings, Bears, and the crappy job I once had at the local newspaper, I've decided to turn over a new leaf and write on more positive subjects. Starting today, my writings will be different (unless Ms. PMS has a say-so about it) and will reflect on some interesting stories. One thing I've always wanted to do in a blog was a music review and an ornery one at that. For my first review, I will explain the enigmatic meaning behind System of A Down's ornery anti-war song, "B.Y.O.B."

Before I begin, let me start with an overview of the band's back story. System of A Down began making albums in 1996, beginning their bizarre yet loveable trip through the heavy-metal kingdom. They have been deemed as one of strangest bands (besides Slipknot and Marilyn Manson) to hit the scene because of their cleverly hidden metaphorical messages and symbolisms in all of their songs. Every song from "Aerials" down to "Toxicity" has an underlying political and social message, a message which has never been made obvious unless it was under close inspection. Many of their songs have a certain Armenian flavor to them, as this is the band's heritage.

"B.Y.O.B" has been credited as the "Warpigs" of my generation. Although the presidents and wars are different, the same old tune is tried and true. The title itself, "B.Y.O.B" is an enigma for all to debate. Depending on whom you ask, the acronym is "Bring Your Own Bomb", "Bleed Your Own Blood", or "Bring Your Own Beer", but the band isn't talking. To start out, the line, "Barbara-isms by Barbaras, with pointed heels...." makes an allusion to President George W. Bush's mother, Barbara Bush, who has often been criticized with for her snobbish behavior towards the poor. "Marching forward, hypocritic and hypnotic computers-" This line says in full how the Bush administration is contradicting their stories in regard to the war in Iraq, all the while dazzling people with technological advances to benefit the war in an attempt to differ attention away from it's true meaning. The line is followed by the loud rant: "YOU depend on OUR protection, yet you feed us lies from the tablecloth." Political influences, as SOAD lead vocalist, Serj Tankian, explains, looks over the fact that it is the people, not the President or Congress, who are tasked with the job of ensuring our freedom. We fought for the idea and we die for it endlessly, yet in the song's message (talk about a thankless life we all live), we are being fed lies from "the tablecloth", insinuating that as Congress and the President are sitting in a meeting at a lavishly decorated table in the White House, they are planning a batch of new lies to tell the people why the war isn't working as hoped.

Finally, to speak of my favorite verses; they are clearly a slap in the face of authority, making them the most ornery words spoken: "Everybody's going to the party, have a real good time. Dancing in the desert, blowing up the sunshine.....Kneeling roses disappearing into Moses' dry mouth- breaking into Fort Knox, stealing our intentions. Hangars sitting dripped in oil, crying freedom!!! Handed to obseletion, still you feed us lies from the tablecloth." To summarize this passage, "everybody's going to the party, have a real good time" speaks about the young people who are being drafted into the conflict in the Middle East. "Dancing in the desert, blowing up the sunshine....." is a vivid imagery of soldiers running around in the desert as part of their tactics against the terrorists and shooting them, prompting their actions to appear as if they were "dancing". As the soldiers attack their enemies, attack choppers circle the sky and drop bombs onto their targets, sending debris skyward, causing it to appear as if they had "blown up the sunshine". In the end, the soldier's deaths are recognized in the line "kneeling roses disappearing into Moses' dry mouth". The roses symbolize faith and love, as for one's duty to their country they have so much pride for. They are also a symbolic in the fact that roses are often placed on the caskets of fallen G.I.s as they are lowered into the ground in a military funeral. The rose can also be symbolic of the soldiers themselves because of their faith and loyalty toward their country, who kneel before their country as a pledge for their services. The soldiers or "roses" seem to disappear into the Iraqi desert, which is claimed to be the Holy Land of Moses' time. As a confusing point in the song itself, the band throws in the whole "breaking into Fort Knox, stealing our intentions" bit. The government seems to be stealing the countries' intentions of living a free and peaceful life, and will stop at nothing to counter this. Upon the theft of peace, the empty hangars crying out the word "freedom" is a personified symbol of the people begging for peace. The idea of peace and freedom is nearly obsolete as the war wears on because of the diminishing faith of the people, all the while the President and Congress keeps creating reasons for why it can't be. To conclude with this thinker, which gives the songs the poignant, powerful message that it is famous for, the line “WHY DON’T PRESIDENTS FIGHT THE WAR?? WHY DO THEY ALWAYS SEND THE POOR?" This line sounds like a cue from Black Sabbath's legendary hit, "Warpigs", "Politicians hide themselves away, they only started the war. Why should they go out to fight? They leave their own to the poor..." Both lines convey a powerful message that is sadly ignored in our society. When a war breaks out, the rich and privileged never sign up to fight in the conflict, but hypocritically act like patriots when the need arises (lookin' at you, Toby Keith!). It is always the poor who signs up because the military lures them in with promises of free education, discipline, free housing, and food. Desperate for the promise of money, poor civilians will sign up for the military, not realizing that they will be sent overseas to their deaths. They will remain patriotic to whatever branch of military they pledged allegiance to, becoming the metaphorical "kneeling roses" who will disappear in the Middle Eastern sands, never to be seen again.

If you are interested in hearing this song for yourself, go to System of A Down's official website or any online music downloading store, like I Tunes. As for the lyrics, you can find them on www.azlyrics.com or www.songfacts.com. "B.Y.O.B." can be found on System of A Down's 2005 album, Mesmerize. Until thee, fair thee....oops, sorry Aunt Fairweather! I mean...see you sooner if don't see you later!

The summer of 2007 was the most eventful yet depressing one in my short life here on Earth. While most people were having fun and partying their high school days away, I was inside my own hell for 5 months, a hell that I felt I would never come out of until a group of people saved me from its further torment.

In an earlier blog that Aunt Fairweather posted called, "A Visit From Marvin the Martain", she spoke of a crop circle appearing in our little town in the knobs and the aftermath that followed it. She also said that I went there everyday, which was the truth. However, I came not because of fasination, but a reason born from fear of the unknown. When I first came into this abomination, I felt the most horrible feeling in the face of God's green earth. My arms and legs began tingling and my heart began to beat wildly inside my chest. I almost began to gasp for air until I moved further inside of it. The air was putrid with the smell of burnt wheat and the cooking of other vegetation surrounding that field from the sun's unforgiving heat. I fell under its spell, began entranced by its imposing figure, and began to behave in strange ways because of it. I had to go there everyday; if not, I'd almost go into fits. I couldn't explain what was happening to me, but somehow, I seemed to enjoy it.

A week after visiting the crop circle, I began to get strange nightly visits from a black figure. I was in the shower when I felt something stare holes into me. When I opened the shower curtain, to my amazement, nothing was there. The entire time, I felt a certain blackness crushing me alive without amnesty for its actions. Night time was scary for me during that week. I would hear footsteps coming into my room, followed by that crushing weight on my heart when I slept. The damned thing even began to affect my dreams while it slumbered in a cold radiance in that field over a mile away. Despite the entity's entrance into my life, I still came to the crop circle everyday for a week. The farmer by then knew me by name. His children began to stare at me like I was weird. The people who worked at the local newspaper knew me too and we often kept in touch with each other. My days became filled with thoughts of the crop circle, how beatiful the crop circle was, and what it meant for us. My obsession grew as well as the entity's psychological attacks on me and everyone took notice of my change. My summer vacation turned into endless days of research and conjecture when they should have been filled with laughs and mischief with friends. Instead, I shunned my own best friend because she didn't believe my claims, eventually losing her. At the time, I didn't care about the cost of this fasination to myself and others around me. I ignored people when they asked me to stop talking about it and physically, I couldn't stop myself. The thing was towing me under its spell, leading me on a downward spiral. I didn't understand what was going on and I kept my concerns to myself because I knew people would think I was crazy. Eventually, that downward spiral would become much more severe after school started again.

Every night for a week, I began to have bizarre dreams and they always lead to that field in the knobs. One such dream was of a man dressed in all black who stood in the field. I can recall him asking me if I liked the pattern I saw. Naturally, I said yes to his question. He then asked if I wanted to see more just like it. I said yes again. By that next day, one had formed right across the road from my house. I was terrified, to say the least. Something was wrong with the picture, I could feel it.

By the end of the summer, the entity became increasingly demanding to me. It was then that I also seen what it actually looked like. The thing was hideous. It took the appearance of several different people that I knew every time I seen it in my dreams. The most haunting feature was its bright red eyes that glared from its black robe that it wore. The presense it gave was one of an angry male who had a certain animosity towards the world he lived in. He hated everything he saw and made it clear to me in his demands. Eventually, I brought up enough courage to ask an old friend who was a practicing white witch to help me out. She only told me what I had already figured out myself: when I walked into the crop circle, whatever resided there had attached itself to me and decided to follow me around. It saw something in me, maybe a missing fragment of its life. She told me what many other people would eventually say to me: stay away from that field and when that spirit tries to bother me, ignore it. I didn't listen. I thought there was some other way around my situation besides ignoring it. Maybe I could help it, I thought to myself. If I did help it, it would leave me alone. So, that's when I began putting together the pieces for myself. Before I did, however, I asked this old friend if she could help me convert to Paganism so that I could have a better connection with the thing.(A decision which nearly killed me in the end). She helped out and I did. I began my studies right away, with meditations being my first lesson. I did this everyday for a week, being sure to light a stick of Dragon's Blood before I began for extra courage. On a certain day of meditations, an odd thing happened to me. The thing from my dreams began to manifest itself into my place of relaxation without a care. It began to threaten and taunt me. Again, I was scared, but that same inner voice told me, "Just a little while longer. You can solve this by yourself."

Through hours of research, I came up upon an interesting find. The field that the crop circle had appeared in was once part of the Trail of Tears. To second this, a week after the phenomenon occured, strange lights began to appear from that field, as well as Army planes. This was becoming normal for my town. Everyone suddenly realized that over time and they began to forget what happened there, except me.

However, my condition gotten worse as the summer neared its close. By then I began to hear a sudden thought that wasn't mine at all echo through my head, "Go back. Something is waiting for you there." This would happen all the time in 3rd period- my economics class. What did this mean? Why should I go back? Was the enigma meant for me to answer? My mind reeled with more questions than answers until I talked to a Native American woman in Alabama who seemed to have all the answers. She claimed herself to be a "sensitve", one who can communicate with spirits, as well as a seasoned ghost hunter. I told her my story and she began to answer in the best way she could. Like my old friend did, she said that she believed that a lost soul had attached itself to me. However, after she researched this area further, she began to lose faith in what I told her. She said that, according to her research compiled from our town's geographical history, we sat on a major fault line. Where there's fault lines, she said, there's a sure sign of methane gas which would escape from the cracks after a minor earthquake. Methane causes many symptoms, like upset stomach, rashes, and (here's what pissed me off) paranoid delusions. Paranoid delusions?! How can you call what's happening to me a paranoid delusion? I said. It's too real and things are happening to me and everyone else around. Granted, the people who lived around this area have fallen under the grasp of a mystery illness after all this had happened. However, I only lined a half a mile away, so I couldn't be affected by it. What else could it be?

After hanging up, I felt numb and my head was about to explode from rage. Was all that I was experiencing a figment of a paraniod delusion or was it the "family curse" that many of the women in my family have? Either way, I wasn't about to back down. I was tired of this bulls*** and I wanted it to stop, whether the thing liked it or not. The only thing I can do now was call my Aunt Fairweather and explain the situation. She was at a loss for words and told me to email my adopted Aunt(now Godmother) Willard, since she was keen on this stuff. Next, I told my Mamaw M(my mom's mom) about what was happening and she became rather emotional. She didn't know that the situation had gotten this bad. Last in line was my mom and dad. I told them everything the best way that I could. At first, they were skeptical to my explaination until my emotions(everything I had bottled inside for all that while) flooded out into the open. Mom took me to the side and told me something shocking: something exactly like this happened when she was a little girl. The same happened to Mamaw M. as an early adult. Evidently, this ability to recognize the presenses of the dead runs in my family. Great.

The next day, Aunt Willard emailed me and told me her belief on this. This spirit was trying its hardest to get into our world by channeling itself through me. Each time it tried to attempt this, she said, it would steal some of my energy, causing me to feel tired all the time. The only option now was to destroy all that remained of the crop circle's legacy: the photos that were left behind and burn them with sage and salt. Afterwards, she told me to begin a special meditation that would ensure my protection from this entity. I even told her that it had threatened to kill my parents as they slept. She said that it was only doing that to frighten me into helping it. Second, I said, I began to have visions of a village flooding into my mind as I looked at the pictures of the crop circle. This was my village. I would think. This was once my home. I knew every corner of it. I decided to call the woman in AL about this. She was amazed by what I said but was skeptical and like any typical paranormal investigator, she told me to collect data on my claims. (How ironic-a sensitive who doesn't believe in another sensitive. Hmmmm....Makes a person wonder...)
I was at a loss. I wanted this to be over so bad. All I ever wanted was a reasonable explaination for what I was going through, not red tape. I needed help and fast. After our conversation, I found myself sobbing uncontrollably in my room. For the first time in my life, I felt powerless and alone. Nothing was going to save me now, I felt. In the background, the thing was laughing at me and began to demand that I kill myself and be through. However, it was when a voice from deep within me said, "Miss A, you're not crazy, there's really something wrong here- you need to fight this thing; you're stronger than this!" In a haze, I tore into my dresser and began ripping each every one of the crop circle pictures to shreads. As tears fell from my eyes, I was a storm of emotions. At first, I found myself saying, "I'm so sorry that I couldn't help you...." Later, I found myself saying, "Burn in hell! You don't deserve a second life!" Once the pictures had been destroyed, I threw them into a trash bag along with some salt and tied the bag as tightly as I could. After that, a sense of peace suddenly came into me. It was all over, finally.

As of now, all's been good on my front. I've quit my studies in Paganism and I refuse to hear the word crop circle unless someone talked about burning one. I burn sage every two days and decided to invest in a peacock stone for spiritual protection. I also keep myself protected from evil spirits by special meditations and my personal favorite one, guardian meditation(what the Cherokee did), in which I imagine a certain waterfall protecting me from harm through its power and wisdom. (Look up Bald River Falls-you'll see why its what I call my guardian. Get pictures of it in the spring or fall. It looks prettier like that.)
For now, I haven't had any weird experiences, but in the future, that'll change, I feel.
Sorry to bore ya'll with my story. I decided to tell people openly about the dangers of metaphysical world as well as Paganism as well. People who practice this will do ANYTHING to get you to join their religion and will sugar coat the truth of what they can do. Although it is deemed to be good and the motto is to , "Do no harm onto others", most of these spells are aimed at causing suffering to the caster or castee. You are dealing with real spirits here and a crop circle isn't going to help matters much.(The are believed to be portals into the spirit world.) While I speak, I've come to the decision that I should study New Age healing at a local college(where I've been accepted and where I've gotten a $6000 scholarship)so that no one will suffer in the same way that I did.
Until then, fair thee well.....